I've decided that the next time I have sex it's going to be one of those crazy passionate interactions with really heavy breathing and lamp-knocking and clothes-ripping. I'm tired of this "mahh what else are we gonna do tonight? I'm sick of watching Bravo so I guess I'll allow you to go ahead with the boner and I'll go ahead and find the lube cause we know its like a dried up old lady 'cause I'm half pissed and really hungry." or worse, the intoxicated decision to do the deed (post the taco bell run) when the lamp-knockin and clothes rippin ain't led by passion and the poot noises aren't queefs.
I wanna rip n roar. Complete with screeching and unrecognizable animal noises-dog followed by dolphin with torso movements and using the corner of a pillow as a fin. I want my armpits to reek afterwards and my bed to be so wet with sweat that I can't even sleep in it. I'm sick of being pissed when I watch gorgeous sex scenes like the one in the library in Atonement because I'm stenched with jealousy. Its time for something so wild that the nuva ring pops out and hits him in the face.
I think the appropriate way to execute this natural urge is to go up in da club and get all up on ya screamin' yeahuh (yeahh).
Thursday, July 24, 2008
queefs galore
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2 comments:
Sex isn't always like that? hahahaha Great title.
nicely put
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