i must be on glue.

Smackdab in the middle of summer.
I am stuck in North Carolina with my parents who are working and I am left with my own company and I'm not making very good company for myself. My wisdom teeth are coming in (I know why people have them taken out far before they need to) because my tooth is jogging in place in the back of my mouth and while doing so, it is using a hammer to bang on the row of teeth in front of it. I know this can't be good for my 6 years of braces. Yeah, six whole years of regretting a lot of food choices.
We're house-hunting and hunt is definitely a better word choice than search because its not like a scavenger hunt. Its like that one time I went deep sea fishing. Here's how the conversation on the way to a random '60s neighborhood went:

Dad (conversation dominator): Look at all this crap: Borders, Fuckrudders, Costco. What the hell is Costco, a bank?

Mom (even tempered, mellow): No, Its like Sam's.

Me: You can go there and get 5 pound buckets of Jelly Belly. (his favorite food group)

Dad: We're on Commerical Avenue but those Jelly Bellys don't sound too bad. I could go for some jelly in my belly. Let's get some ice cream.

Me: Can we go to ColdStone? They have cake...

Dad (interrupts): No way are we supporting a big chain like that. They're evil. They have vacuum cleaners attached to your wallet. Look at this: Panera, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, Massage Envy. This is where people come and load their trunks with shit they don't even need. No way am I living in a place like this. This is hell.

Me: It's so convenient.

Dad: All I need is a grocery store and a library.

Me: You don't even read.

Dad: It's like Buyer's Central around here. They use the same old tricks to steal your money. I read an article about it. They jack up the prices, then they put everything on sale so you think you're getting a steal.

Me: I got $75 sheets for $20 at Macy's

Dad: ::groans::

We turn into the neighborhood across the street from the Lexus dealership.

Dad: If I get bored I'm gonna test drive me a Lexus. No way am I living here.

Mom: I like this neighborhood

Dad: Too bad. Look at that, a white girl with mixed babies.

Me: We like our children single colored, thank you.

Dad: Yeah, that's right. Single colored and white.

We pull up to a really nice house. Daddy backs out of the driveway.

Dad: Too bad, so sad. Let's go test drive a Lexus.