Buuusted

Once upon a time, I was busted for drinking on Campus. This is the essay that I submitted in order to comply with the sanctions of Housing Probation, which I stumbled upon in my Word files:

The Affect of Alcohol on My Life

Ethanol alcohol consumption is one of the earliest chemical reactions known to man and was even known to Neolithic peoples. Throughout history, every culture of the world has discovered, on their own, the magic of fermented fruits and vegetables. Today, alcohol can even be produced synthetically but I prefer the Russian’s use of the potato to make a colorless, odorless potent grain alcohol that complements well with cranberry juice and sprite. In a week, I generally consume between two and four of these so-called Crantinis.
It is no surprise that alcohol use is rampant on college campus and in the surrounding areas since it is important at social events, which are the foundation of the college lifestyle and a very important aspect of the college community. For many people, the effects of alcohol are required to do things that they would only dream of, such as sex with complete strangers, which is a well-known and very common fantasy of most men and women. Everyone knows that alcohol lowers inhibitions, but what that really means is that people will say and do riskier things and tell people how they really feel, with both negative and positive consequences, such as the ego-boost that people receive when drunk girls tell declare to their ugly friends that they’re super hot and that they totally love them. There are some bad effects of alcohol, such as fraternity members who engage in gang-bang when their “grand-little” passes out for the first time in their wooden bunk bed with her shoes on, because it is a horrible policy that anyone who passes out with their shoes on is “fair game”, even though this policy is plastered on many fraternity, and I might add, dorm room walls.

Alcohol comsumption does not make me a malicious person. I, like most people, consider myself a very good person and I consume my share of alcohol in any given week, however this only occurred on campus in one incident. It should be noted that I was drinking beer which shouldn’t even be considered alcohol since it is made of the same thing as bread. I agree with the school that alcohol use should be forbidden on campus because it is very hard to study and party at the same time and studying is the foundation of learning which is the foundation of school which is what the University of Central Florida is.

When reflecting upon my personal alcohol use, I consider that I spend about ten percent of my personal paper dollars on alcohol. If I chose to spend my money in a different way, I could probably buy myself a Vespa with all the money that I’ve spent on alcohol since my freshman year of high school. This impacts my life because I have a beach cruiser instead of a Vespa and I could travel around campus much more efficiently (as in time, not energy) on a Vespa.

As I navigated through the REAL Alcohol and Other Drug Prevention Program, I found that I consume about 20 standard drinks per week, however, when taking that quiz, I felt that my responses were probably not accurate and I consume less because I took that on the week of my birthday which caused for extensive celebratory behaviors. Based on this, I was told that I consume more alcohol that 80% of college women. I have gone an entire week without going out and plan to go out solely on the weekends. I have begun to work downtown since the probation-causing incident and my grades have improved. The thought of a hangover now occurs to me before I drink rather than after and this has had serious effect on my drinking behaviors.

My tolerance to alcohol is moderate and higher than it was when I began to drink in high school. I can drink a few drinks before the desired effects kick in but I cannot, and do not wish to outdrink my male counterparts like some college women. My risk is fairly medium because I enjoy flip-cup but it is not high because I am not a beer pong champion. My drinks are always handed to me by the bar tender or an of-age male who I know and trust. I have never had unprotected sex with a stranger in the back seat of a car, nor do I plan to do so during my time here at UCF. I plan to study harder and watch my grades improve because I hope to succeed as a scholar, not a drinker.

My family risk level is low because my parents consume only wine and beer in moderate amounts and the only alcoholic in my family was an “Uncle” who was really just a family friend.
I pledge to spend more time at the Library by the retention pond and less at the one by McDonald’s.