Whoops...

When I am this hungover and did something that bad last night, I only find comfort in fast food, my cat and textsfromlastnight.com.
I came home today with a serious hangover, dropped off at my parents by an NFL draftee who just finished his last season at Wake Forest in my parent's town, Winston-Salem (yeah, I'm seriously bragging about a ONS...and yeah, I have abbreviated one-night-stand to ONS).
I had to go to church, since it was Easter and I stayed out all night partying so I had to crawl out of the hole I dug last night and hopefully meet sweet Jesus at the top. I walked in the back door and my dad said, "Put on your dress, grab some water and I'll be waiting in the car for you."I seriously wish that I were Catholic so I could go to confessional and make the priest squirm.
So I walked upstairs to change, feeling pretty crappy, and in came Charlie, happy as hell to see me, even in my worthless state. He rubbed against my calves and purred 'cause baby, his love is unconditional. He's like, "Hey! I missed you!", and I'm like, "Oh, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, sweet boy." And we are blissful.
I haven't been to church in years. I don't have much in common with the Worshiping Kind. I have never felt like I really needed to repent, and I actually didn't know what that feels like, until today. The expression, "sweating like a whore in church", well, I felt like it applied to me today. The sermon droned on and the house was packed. I think that this priest crammed in every original idea about life into his sermon because he didn't know if we'd ever be back in church. And he was right, we won't.
I don't really know what I did last night (aside from a bar and a football house -- ick in retrospect) but I know that I was outrageous with my vocals and probably the content of my vocals. In this state, I take such comfort in reading the submissions to textfromlastnight.com. I think that even though I don't know the people who wrote those, we're united in our hangover. It's hard to believe how often during most people's college career, they have outrageous nights that involve booze, sex and lots of shit-shooting. Or maybe that's just life.

The Underworld.

I went down the rabbit hole for a week.

I don't understand why Alice went back to England when she had the option to stay in the Underworld. Money wasn't an issue, love was a possibility and the environment to which she returned was monstrous. She matured and returned to her responsibilities, but I am certain that Alice questioned her decision. Of course she did.

Once experiencing Central America, there is no way I can wrap my mind around being in school in North Carolina for 3 years. Ignorance is bliss. Before I traveled, I was in love with this place.

Everyone thinks about it, plans it and considers running away to a foreign country. Someplace different enough to stimulate all senses of wonder and curiosity but similar enough to quickly adapt.

Everyone travels and returns to their home with a bit of post-vacation grief. Most people probably even plan to move to the place that they loved so much.

I have to go back.

I have restless dreams of being back in Costa Rica. I've had dreams of being there, in that dirty hostel, with the same people with me. Then I wake up and go to class. I had a dream that I was running all over this strange place that seemed like a parking garage. I was running faster than I ever have and with intense urge to get to where I was going. I was barefoot and there was trash, urine and hypodermic needles on the ground, but I kept running. Then I awoke in my bedroom and forced myself back to sleep so I could reach my destination but I never made it. I slept through class trying to get there.

My main goal isn't to go and explore the countryside, although it is beautiful and wild, something to be admired. I want to go to this hostel, during the rainy season and sit outside when it is pouring. I want a dirty bunk bed and to share a cold shower with strangers. The freedom that comes with no schedule or restrictions is bliss. Activities and goals are simple during the day but the stimulation of people coming and going, the weather wild and wonderful, the art and music never-ending, it is plenty. Fruit is cheap and delicious, it easy to live on fruit, rice and beans.

The logistics are not so simple...