Dry Spell

Fuck that. Dry spell is a euphemism. I am in a drought.
Now I understand that I put up with so much turmoil in my last relationship because I wanted steady sex. The human body and brain are hardwired for steady sex and the stability and sensory input that accompany the steady sex. I would love to believe that casual sex is enough...but no strings attached is a myth contrived by men.
I saw a cloud in the sky over the weekend. It was my beloved holiday, Halloween. My roomies and I threw a party.
The first was Officer Dangle who came in through the backdoor (of my house) to the party. Real name: Charkie, strike one. He also spoke very little, strike two. And, he owns the white cat that hangs around our house with the fucked-up eyes, strike three. He was quite nice, but not bump-n-grind-n-go material. He added me on Facebook way too soon.
Then there was Hugh Hefner who was trying quite obviously-too-hard to get into my tutu. He ended up sitting on my bed, uninvited, and petting my cat. He wanted to pet my other cat really badly, but tiny dancers have standards. When he walked into the party, he was with his darling roommate who I invited. After talking with me for a few minutes, he whispered too-loudly to his roommate if he had dibs on me. (Ew.) He was foul and obviously without 7 girlfriends at home. Honestly, dressing up as Hugh Hefner and not getting laid is fallacious.
Then there was Franzia Box Wine. He had a spout at the bottom of the box that actually contained wine. I had a glass, or rather, Solo cup of the stuff and I swear to God that I do not know if it was Pinot Grigio or piss. I think that he may have had his wiener coming out of the spout. (Too much?) He wasn't really flattered that I asked him if that was the case, because I implied that he was a complete pervert since I wasn't laughing when I asked. He didn't know anyone at the party and still didn't want to talk to me much after that.
I can't believe that I consider these encounters "clouds in the sky" during the longest drought of my sexually active life.
When I went to the mountains on a Fall Break camping trip, I fell in love. When I went to the doctor for a cold, I fell in love. When I met a guy at a bus stop, I fell in love. I cannot follow through with anything. I become infatuated for a day with a person who I meet once and never speak to again. But for the day of unprovoked infatuation, I am blissful in the ficticious life that I share with this stranger.
It was just so wonderful that the creepy, awful Hugh Hefner actually wanted to get in my tutu. What the fuck?